Easiest Writing Ever

"Why Miley Cyrus Represents Everything That is Evil and Wrong in the Universe," by Anyone-with-Anything-Resembling-Musical-Taste.

First off, if you haven't seen it, here's a hilarious/sobering video from POP Culture's Sweetheart, Miley Cyrus.



First off, "I don't know, I didn't write that song," should tell you off the bat (in case you're a complete moron) that Miley Cyrus is, in general, one of the more talentless piles of corporate filth that we've had the misfortune of having shoved down our collective throats the past few years. She is, in short, everything that's wrong with both music and popular culture in general, and is anathema to everything I believe in. That's not to say I hate her so much as I hate that she has permeated our culture so much.

To be honest, I don't have any real problem with her not listening to Jay-Z. It's a matter of taste, and if she doesn't like him, that's her perogative. My problem is that she has the nerve, no, the fucking gall to call his music "pop." Like her music is any different? She's about as "Country" as Taylor Swift. Not to give the impression that I like Country Music, but I can at least say that's its not as bad as the mindless drivel shoveled out by Miley Cyrus, The Jonas Brothers and all their Disney cohorts.

This would be bad enough, but I've recently learned that Miley said that Coldplay and Radiohead are two of her favorite bands. Nothing against either band (I do like both), but how the fuck is Jay-Z pop and Coldplay NOT? She says she's "never listened to a Jay-Z song," but I'm fairly sure a serious Coldplay fan would have heard him. Despite that serious lack of knowing what a genre is, the most egregious, ridiculous thing about all of this is...

If Coldplay and Radiohead are her favorite bands, WHY IN THE FUCK DOES SHE MAKE SUCH SHITTY MUSIC? Why would you write (read: agree to half-heartedly record what a failed musician wrote) such shitty, soul-crushing music? Seriously. I want someone to explain this to me. It's not like she's wanting for cash, her equally-untalented father had money even before the Modern Apocalypse known as Hannah Montana was shoveled onto our increasingly-diseased airwaves.

If, for some horrible reason I'm ever "graced" to meet Ms. Cyrus, I'll be sure to ask her that. Right before I graffiti her dressing room and burn her and her faulty system to the fucking ground.

This Machine Kills Fascists.- Woody Guthrie
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