Citizens of the United States! On this, the day of the birth of our nation, we would like you to know that although we were capable of enveloping the Earth in the multicolored shroud of a hydrogen bomb in 1962, we are currently incapable of stopping an oil spill. Which we are responsible for. It has nothing to do with the fact that the oil being spilled is an excuse to hike up the cost of gasoline, money which indirectly finds its way into our pockets (or China's, as we'd like to have you believe).
Also, we have no idea who killed Kennedy and DEFINITELY put a man on the moon.
Salutations, from the government that both invented freedom and destroyed it.
P.S. Disregard this statement. Just watch this creative, original and well-written reality television and listen to this very talented singer who definitely wrote their own music. Your government is in control, don't worry.
You are free. To do what we tell you.
Governments shouldn't be in the business of governing-Cosmis
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